I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize