I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
