Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
