sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
