Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
