We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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