Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
