I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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