Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
