I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
