I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
