She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
