Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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