Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
