We should be called the Road Head Warriors
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
this just has baby written all over it
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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