At least make sure they are 18
Why
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
