paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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