When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My vagina just clenched in fear
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
