I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
