Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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