I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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