I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
