i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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