when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
