Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
