Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
And then my night got REAL pukey
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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