My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
