What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
