i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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