you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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