well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
