I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
