Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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