Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
