so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
