If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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