Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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