Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We just shotgunned beers for America
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
