i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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