I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
