I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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