I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
