dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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