they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
