Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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