I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
