I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
