according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
