she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize