they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize