I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Sext me about skeletons
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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