I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
