Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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