she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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