Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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