2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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