So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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