if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
