so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
