Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize