We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
