I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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