ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
