you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
