Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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