but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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