Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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