I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
