'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
