erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Watching her eat just hurts me
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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