Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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