so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
